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Study: Saying 'We' Leads to Healthy Marriages

Updated: Monday, 08 Feb 2010, 1:24 PM CST
Published : Monday, 08 Feb 2010, 1:22 PM CST

(MYFOX NATIONAL) – According to a new study, the use of inclusive pronouns, like we, our, us, leads to more satisfaction within marriages and relationships.

From the couples examined, older couples and happier couples were the ones using more "we" language, indicating that long, healthy marriages are ones that exist in a cohesive conjugal environment.

Robert Levenson, the lead researcher in the Psychology and Aging report, told The Associated Press that using "we" words over "I" words is "part of this invisible language that can tell scientists what's going on inside a marriage."

Researchers believe that speaking as a single, rather than as a couple, can lead to selfish tendencies. Furthermore, heart rates were found to be directly related to this finding. 154 middle-aged and older couples were included in the study, and in the course of 15 minutes discussed a point of disagreement while attached to heart rate and blood pressure monitors.

The results were straight-forward: couples who used "we" language more often were calmer and emotionally positive. More interestingly, most couples with these reactions were older and married for a longer period of time.

The "me" pronouns were more closely associated than "we" language with negative facial expressions, tones of voice, body posture, and gestures, the researchers said.

Emerald Catron, of Lemondrop.com , brings up a good point: how far should a couple who wants to live happily ever after take this tendency? Should every material object be considered shared?

Through an online poll at MSNBC's Newsvine , half of over 1,000 voters consider "we" couples to be sweet and romantic. Generally speaking, saying "we" in a relationship seems to be for the best.

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